So you want to be owned?

So you want to be an owned and collared sub? Do you know what these terms actually mean in practice or are you just using terminology you have seen online? Are you sending "please own me" messages to every Dom(me) you come across or do you truly want to be owned by one specific Dom(me)? Have you done your research? Have you met and/or served this Dom(me), either in person or online? Have you thought about what you will be bringing to the table? Why would your Dominant of choice want to own you over every other submissive who wants it? 

Let's assume, for the sake of this blog, that you are taking this seriously, you know the Dom(me) you wish to be owned by and you are fully committed to an immersive experience as an owned sub. Also, for the purposes of this blog we are only looking at being owned by a Professional Dom(me). Lifestyle and Female Led Relationships (FLR) will have variations. 

So what does being owned entail? The experience will be different with each Dom(me) and even between a Dom(me) and each of Her/His owned subs. It will depend on what you can offer them, their rules and requirements and also your own limitations (whether that be kink limits or time restraints due to work etc..). You may be expected to follow certain daily rules and rituals and/or sign a 'contract'. There will no doubt be a financial aspect, a tribute for their time and attention. This may be weekly, monthly, as and when or covering specific aspects of their Lifestyle. If you want the honour of being owned by them then you must be ready to contribute to Her/His Lifestyle. This is something you would discuss with your chosen superior and it will usually be a specific arrangement between the two of you rather than a one size fits all approach. 

Serving, being owned and being collared are all different parts of the D/s dynamic. To simplify, if you look at it in the terms of a romantic relationship then serving would be like dating, being owned like being exclusive and collared like being engaged or married. Some Dominants will expect you to only serve them, some will allow you to serve others with permission, this is a part of the arrangement you should discuss. 

Before you ask to be owned, consider your reasons for wanting this and what you can bring to the Dominant's life. If you think that being owned means that you get to session, play, chat all the time, for free, then this is definitely not for you. 

Paying, tributing, contributing…whatever you want to call it, is not "Findom", do not approach a Pro Domme with "I'm not into findom" when expected to provide financial rumination. Findom, or Financial Domination is a specific kink/fetish which does of course center around money. However, paying for a service, for time, expertise and attention, paying someone for doing their job, these are not Findom! No matter how much a Dom(me) enjoys their work, you should still expect to pay them. 

Also consider what other skills you can bring to your Dominant. Are you good at woodwork? Could you chauffeur them around? The more you have to offer, the more use you will have.

Being owned is an honour and often it will entail the Dominant allowing you more access to them, a deeper dynamic and to be part of their life. It is not a right and is not something you should expect or feel entitled to.